Therapy for life adjustments
This blog offers an opportunity to explore what makes life transitions so emotionally complex, and how therapy can provide meaningful support along the way. Whether change is percolating or has already knocked you right off your feet, my hope is that these reflections offer comfort, insight, and a sense that support is within reach. Change can feel overwhelming, and it doesn’t have to be faced alone.
Is experiencing a life transition bad?
As long as we are living, we will be facing transitions. Transitions from day to night. working to being off the clock. Hungry to not hungry. Clearly I could go on. Most of the transitions or changes we face can be mundane and even not necessarily something we notice. Some transitions bring about celebrations and acknowledgement, like graduating school, getting married, or retiring to name a few. While others may feel isolating or heavy, such as the loss of a job, a move away from home, or the end of a relationship.
Even when change is expected or chosen, it can still stir up grief, uncertainty, or a deep sense of disconnection. In these moments, it’s common to feel unsteady or unsure of what’s next. Personally, I will often begrudging sigh and dramatically pronounce, “Could we just, not?” Eventually, depending on the severity of the situation, I will turn to the tools and community support I have to navigate what’s next.
What are examples of transitions in life?
While each person’s experience is unique, all transitions, whether anticipated or unexpected, require adjustment on mental, emotional, and physical levels. Like with experiencing grief or ambiguous grief, how we process transitions can vary from one person to the next. Here are common transitions where people tend to seek support from counselors:
Relocating to a new city or country
Starting or ending a significant relationship
Contemplating a career change
Becoming a caregiver or parent
Understanding a new diagnosis (like ADHD or a chronic illness)
These life changes often disrupt not only daily routines but also one’s deeper sense of self. There can be opportunities to creates space for reflection, emotional processing, and renewed clarity.
Are all career changes starting over?
People often seek out counseling for career changes. They are looking for guidance before making a dramatic change. For many people, much of our day and who we are is focused around our job and professional identity. One of the most common ice breaker questions is, “What do you do?” So it makes sense for there to be expectations and aspects of our identity focused on our career.
There are inflection points, whether driven by burnout, dissatisfaction, or unexpected life events, which can stir big (sometimes 3 a.m. anxiety fueled) questions about identity, purpose, and values. Even those who’ve achieved traditional success may have doubts, feel unfulfilled or even misaligned with the life they want. It is quite common in my practice for folks in their late twenties and early thirties to feel deep discontentment despite reaching professional success. This can be quite disorienting or feel dangerous, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Some folks do find through counseling they would like to make a career pivot, and others are able to make a change in their career approach without a substantial shift. Being clear on values, boundaries, and patterns can help gain information on what change is necessary. The Harvard Business Review recommends beginning a career transition with self-reflection. Gain familiarity with what motivates you, what drains you, and what you value most. In therapy, we take this process deeper by exploring how your career impacts your mental health and sense of self-worth.
What makes life transitions difficult?
In her Choosing Therapy article, Meagan Turner, MA, APC, NCC, highlights several reasons why life transitions can be challenging. These insights closely align with what I often see in counseling sessions.
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When structure is disrupted, it can create a sense of instability or uncertainty. It would make sense to experience anxiety or fear when the future is unknown and unfamiliar.
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Even positive changes, such as a promotion or move, involve some form of loss that can bring up unexpected emotions. This has the potential to be disorienting for a bit.
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Taking on new roles or responsibilities often comes with uncertainty, which can be a significant source of stress. The internal and external expectations to smoothly navigate a life change can be difficult.
Additionally, during times of transition, individuals may not yet have the emotional tools or support systems they need to navigate the adjustment effectively. These role changes require building and exercising different skills, which take time to grow and perhaps support from an expert, which could include a diagnosis, like an adjustment disorder.
Six tips for life transitions
From a mental health perspective, coping with life transitions in a healthy way involves creating space for both reflection and intentional action. These are some strategies counselors often explore with clients navigating a life transition (they shouldn’t be confused as therapeutic advise or a substitute for therapy):
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Identifying a transition is happening allows permission to process the change.
Regardless of our developmental age, we crave structure and aspects of certainty. Anyone who has spent time with toddlers or small children knows the importance of having a routine.
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Getting in contact with your emotional experience may include feelings of grief. Grief can be centered around losses of routine, identity, or relationships. It’s helpful information to know what is missing and what might need tending to or support around as you move forward.
In my blog, Navigating the emotional weight of work, I also wrote about the impact of identifying and naming our emotional experience to act from a grounded space.
Read more about healing around ambiguous grief in the post from Stephanie Sarazin M.P.P. titled, What Is Ambiguous Grief and How to Begin Healing.
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Therapists use approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to identify and challenge thought patterns that may be making an experience more difficult. These techniques can help someone relate to your thoughts in healthier, more flexible ways.
CBT based techniques help to organize thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. From there, the therapist and client can gain curiosity over how to modify thoughts, emotions, or behaviors to better cope in situations.
ACT interventions help us to make decisions aligned with our values. This can provide a framework and confidence for how and why to conduct ourselves in a meaningful way, even in challenging situations.
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During life transitions, it’s incredibly tempting set unrealistic expectations, with the best intentions. Similar to New Year, New Me!
I’ve experienced this myself. After moving to a new city, I expected to build close friendships in a few months. That timeline wasn’t realistic, and it left me feeling defeated. Luckily, friends who had gone through similar transitions reminded me that feeling settled might take a year or two. Knowing that helped me stay grounded on tough days and prevented me from turning a slow process into a personal failure.
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An approachable way to think about self-compassion is what would you tell a friend who is in your situation. More often than not, people are much more compassionate and less critical when speaking to someone else.
Another example of self compassion is writing a letter to yourself. It could be a past version of yourself or a future version of yourself. It’s another way to get more familiar with how you are growing and acknowledging your advances, even the seemingly insignificant ones.
Additional techniques can be found in this Cleveland Clinic article regarding self-compassion.
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Community, family, and relationships can all provide varying levels of support. For many, seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor for life transitions provides an additional layer of resources.
Final thoughts
Life transitions often bring deeper emotional patterns and unresolved experiences to the surface. Often we find things directly related to the life transition event can intersect in ways from our past (or our core beliefs). It becomes a space for deep personal growth and healing. Therapy can be a proactive way to gain insight, strengthen coping skills, and make thoughtful decisions during times of change. Whether you're beginning something new or letting something go, therapy offers a supportive space to make sense of your thoughts and emotions. It can help identify the values and goals that truly matter, establish structure and routines to support well-being, and build the confidence and clarity needed to take next steps with intention.
With the support of therapy during life transitions, it becomes possible to navigate change with greater self-awareness and confidence. This process can help reveal what matters most and guide meaningful steps toward a more aligned and fulfilling life. Whether a new chapter is beginning or an old one is coming to a close, support is available, and it can make a difference.
